Last weekend I needed to sleep a lot. I was very tired from the workshop I took last week. My shoulders were awfully sore from lots of handstand, and also I was in a strange state of thinking constantly.
I was very much looking forward to taking this workshop. These days I have been feeling I was getting dry. Rehearsals and teaching are about giving and now I needed to feed myself.
The workshop with Kirstie Simson is about improvisation and contact improvisation. Most of time a session finishes with a jam, where we can pop in or out as we feel like. Someone said a marathon is like life, but a contact improvisation jam is like society. There I always think how I want to be: how much I listen to others and how much I make my statement, when I join and when I withdraw, etc.. I like listening rather than talking. I don't want to disturb others. I don't like seeing someone's ego. I don't want to show my ego. I just want to be part of it.
Thinking of these, it is so easy for me to be passive. But I am not happy about it. I need to make a bit of statement, so I need to take some risk to fail.
This is the situation of me in an improvisation jam, as well as in everyday life.
A balance between listening and talking, or others and myself, is something I want to figure out.
I just need to put myself in a dance, or in the society, wihtout thinking too much. Yes I know...